10 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday Season Post Divorce
The holidays are a joyful yet stressful time for everyone, no matter the family dynamic. Do we have enough food? Did we buy the right gifts? Do we really have to invite them? The list goes on! That list is even longer for families who are recently divorced. Children can feel upset or not excited about the holidays if their parents are divorced. They are worried about how things will go and how things could ever be as special as they once were. It takes time, but the holidays with divorced parents will become their new normal, and it will be wonderful! But it is up to the parents to ensure their children are comfortable and feel loved during the season. Don’t pass along your stress to them. Put on a brave face and embrace the holiday cheer!
Here are ten tips on how to achieve a stress-free holiday season…
1 – Put your children’s needs first.
Their happiness and safety are the number one priority. While you may want things to go one way, you must do what is best for your children. If that means your children spend the holiday with your ex-spouse, then you need to do your best to be okay with that.
2 – Keep scheduling conflicts out of children’s earshot.
They don’t need to know how you got to the arrangement that you did. Figuring out the holiday schedule is the parent’s job, not the children’s. Children can feel pressure to “choose” which parent they want to spend the holidays with. This creates feelings of stress and anxiety about not wanting to hurt the other parent’s feelings.
3 – Try to keep the peace with your ex-spouse, if possible, and be respectful of one another.
Remember, this is hard on both of you. You are trying your best for your children and keeping the holidays as special as possible for them. While you and your ex-spouse had irreconcilable differences, you can still agree on wanting the best for your children.
4 – Start new family traditions.
There is no denying that things are different post-divorce. Embrace your new normal by trying something new this holiday season with your kids. Who knows, it could be your newest, most loved tradition!
5 – Honor old family traditions.
While it is important to introduce new traditions, it may also be necessary to keep some old traditions alive. If there is something that your children absolutely love to do to celebrate, you should do your best to honor that tradition, even if it may be painful for you.
6 – Involve other family members and friends in celebrations.
Having other people around during celebrations can help your children feel less “alone” or different. Invite others like grandparents, cousins, or friends to holiday activities to help keep things light and fun.
7 – Acknowledge feelings of sadness or frustration with your children.
It is not wise to make them feel like they are overreacting. They can feel however they want. Let them know that you are here for them, and while it may not seem like it right now, things will get easier over time.
8 – Volunteer with your children to help others.
Volunteering and giving back to your community always makes you feel better. You will be surprised at how much your children enjoy volunteering. It greatly boosts confidence and helps them look at the bigger picture. This holiday season, carve out some time together to give back.
9 – Be flexible.
It is unlikely that everything goes exactly as planned or how you want it to go. That’s okay. Be flexible! The most important thing is to not pass along any stress to your kids on how things “should” be. Make the most of your current situation and be open-minded to new things.
10 – Savor every moment together.
Most importantly, remember to enjoy your time together this holiday season. While it may look different than years in the past, that doesn’t mean it won’t be great. Most importantly, you are making new memories with your children. At the end of the day, your children just want to spend time with you. Never lose sight of that!
Happy Holidays, you’ve got this!